Growing up, I never wanted to be associated with the term or word “failure”. Why not? Partly because winning in competitions as a high school kid came easy for me and partly because everyone around me (teachers, parents, well-wishers) only lauded successes and largely berated the likelihood of failure, let alone failure itself. But it's almost impossible to go through life without experiencing some kind of failure.
During my SIWES internship in 2011, I failed my first try at the CCNP (Cisco Certified Networking Professional) Switch exam. Failing came across as a shock to me. Wamide, the stellar student never failed at anything with an academic connotation. Failure, this thing to be abhorred, had cast a shadow on my flawless track. But it did something more to me. It interrupted my mental narrative and academic over-confidence. My constant wins had created a subtle hydra-headed monster which only came to my notice when I was stopped by failure. Failure made me reflect on my self-concept of self sufficiency. I saw the monster of pride, entitlement and a dependence on the validation of people present in my thought process. Probably, for the first time in my life, I finally realized that I too needed other people’s help.
Humbled by the experience, I decided to retake the exam on my own bill (my father had paid for the first exam and he was very clear about not sponsoring it a second time). I had to borrow some money from an older friend to foot the bill. I also sought knowledge from others, “How did you pass this exam? What did you do differently?” I asked. This time, I approached it with a greater sense of humility and learning from others. In 3 months, I rewrote the exam and passed.
Failure teaches us a number of valuable lessons when we take out time to review them objectively and non-defensibly.
For me, failing the CCNP Switch exam was a blessing in disguise as it accomplished several things in my life.
First, it helped me re-assess my career path. After working as a networking intern for 6 months and returning to school, I realized computer networking was’t for me. So, I started looking for opportunities to delve into something new and carved my own path.
Secondly, it redefined the source of my confidence. By helping me to identify my need for validation from other people, I was able to cut that out of my thinking and function independently of what other people thought of me. I chose to succeed on my own terms.
Thirdly, it helped me become a better person who could handle situations better like when I had to fold up a business.
A couple years ago, I started a business without properly analyzing the resource and customer needs. I didn’t consider demand, logistics (thanks to the ever fluctuating currency), and my ability to grow and acquire customers. I based the business need solely on my needs, and of course it flopped. For a while, I didn’t have the courage to cut my losses and move on from the business, but the concept of sunk cost came alive to me again and this helped me move on faster. Instead of beating myself up as to why I failed, I objectively looked at areas I could have done better before venturing into the project and these are now lessons learned.
Failure is not a bad thing because it is not conclusive unless you empower it to be. The important thing about failure is the lesson you learn from it.
When we do not take time out to properly evaluate the reason behind a failed process, we are bound to go through the same cycle in some sort of way.
What’s your most recent failure and how are you dealing with it? Are you still whining or reviewing lessons learned?
I experienced my first failure last year and it rocked me to my core. What came of it was the following
- I learnt to stop feeling shame
- my relationship is not transactional, if I do this God will do that
- I didn’t die even though I wished for it so many times
I was able to go back and see where I went wrong. I have recovered somewhat but I know my faith and character was tested, truly, what doesn’t kill you make you stronger.
I have learnt to trust that God knows better so surely He knows why certain things happen
But it's almost impossible to go through life without experiencing some kind of failure. Over the years, I’ve come to understand better that being aware of our professional and personal failures could be very vital in helping us become better versions of ourselves. Failure teaches us a number of valuable lessons when we take out time to review them objectively and non-defensibly...Wamide.
I agree with this postulation i feel it is what we do or how we bounce back from the failed project,failed relationship is what matters.its all lies with mindset and perspective to tip the tides of the failure curve to sucess. nice read Wamide.