🌱 36: On Finding Self

How to Be Your Authentic Self

If you believe in yourself, you've rigged the game already!

~ Adekunle Gold

This post was inspired by Tayo Aina’s recent feature on Adekunle Gold.

Let’s start with some basic definitions.

Brené Brown defines authenticity as “the daily practice of letting go of who we think we are and embracing who we actually are”.

Authenticity is a concept that can mean different things to different people, but in essence it involves living in alignment with our core values, expressing our genuine thoughts and feelings with confidence, and having the courage to unveil our true selves to the world.

In a recent talk I gave on building a profitable career, I emphasized the importance of being your authentic self as a key element for establishing a successful and fulfilling life.

It got me thinking about my own journey on who I am and particularly the changes I’ve been through to become this person I love. As a child, I had diverse interests and dabbled in various activities, such as miming, singing, debating, and writing. However, the most significant changes in my life occurred in the past 10 years.

I hope that in sharing my journey, you too are inspired to embrace your journey towards finding your authentic self.

When I was done with University in 2012, I found myself on a quest to discover my true calling. I thought I needed to separate my work life from my personal life, which often made it seem like I was leading two distinct lives.

Then in 2014, I started a blog that was initially named Finding Self. I had no concrete vision for where this endeavor would lead, but I simply wanted a platform to articulate my thoughts and share the valuable life lessons I had learned. While it may not have reached a massive audience, writing on WordPress for six years helped me build my writing muscles.

In 2018, I started my non-profit community for African women in STEM fields. Prior to this, I had only been involved in a handful of volunteer initiatives with social impact. It was only in the subsequent years that I fully comprehended the magnitude of the commitment I had made. One key lesson from this experience is that I didn't wait for permission to act. Recognizing a gap in gender equality, I took it upon myself to advocate for increased representation of women in STEM and built a community to support this cause. This month, I was recognized by two global organizations for the work I do through CAWSTEM.

In 2019, I earned my first income outside of work for a voice-over gig. At this time, I was looking to validate the idea that it was possible to have multiple streams of income and I did.

In 2020, I attempted to quit my job. My employer insisted I stayed. 3 months later, I got a promotion and a salary increase.

In 2021, I had a baby and this prompted me to reevaluate my priorities and find a more flexible role. Around this time, I also ventured into coaching for the first time, offering guidance and support to small and medium-sized business owners.

In 2022, I started a remote role in tech - the perfect intersection of my skills in community building, advocacy, partnerships, strategy and my consulting experience. Simultaneously, I began exploring more interests outside of work which led me into career coaching, particularly for professionals looking to significant and meaningful transitions. The experience from business coaching proved helpful. I also started writing on here on Substack and all 4500+ of you have made it worthwhile.

This 2023, I got into more. I returned to the carefree spirit of my childhood, where I wasn’t afraid to try new things. I've made the decision to be true to myself, embrace my multiple interests all while pacing myself, and release the worry or pressure of waiting for the perfect time.

Today, I am proudly a Part-Time Creator.

I create digital products and services that catalyze career growth. At the core, I want to help others, and that shows up in different ways - career growth, personal growth, business advisory, marriage, parenting, friendships, etc. I simply show up authentically as myself.

But enough about my journey.

I want to remind you that finding yourself is an ongoing journey. It starts to make more sense as you open yourself up to new experiences, embrace your uniqueness, and allow your personal brand and authentic self to shine through.

If you’re still wondering how to.

Here are four tips to find your authentic self:

1. Know Thyself & Believe in You - you cannot believe in something you do not know. So take the time to know you - your core values, your strengths, your weaknesses, your triggers and particularly what makes you happy. Then believe in yourself like no one else would.

2. Create your Boundaries: move from wondering if you’ll be judged to embracing your uniqueness. Whether it’s a job switch, re-evaluating your friendships, or having difficult conversations, make conscious decisions to create an environment that empowers you.

3. Be Mindful and Gracious: self-aware people hold true to their values, but it doesn’t always mean that you have to speak and act on your emotions all the times. Extend grace to yourself and to others and be careful not to look down on your own unique journey.

4. Be Open-Minded & Growth-Minded: Finding self is an everyday thing that involves learning and continuous development. You don’t suddenly arrive but you attain a level of knowing that cannot be taken away from you.

Life is a journey filled with both ups and downs, and it's through these diverse opportunities and life experiences that we truly discover ourselves.

In all your living and finding self, remember this “there is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”

So, shine brightly and embrace every moment of your unique journey. Your authenticity and the fullness of your capabilities are your guiding stars.

Keep shining, keep exploring, keep growing!

🚀Let’s Grow Together!

1. Need to rewire your mind for productivity, check out the Self Reconfiguration Workshop with Dedoyin Ajayi (a licensed psychotherapist and my amazing cousin). Limited slots available.

2. Looking to pivot careers but not sure how, get my editable and customisable Career Pivot Workbook Template.

3. Want to figure out your unique skills, strengths and weaknesses, get my personal SWOT Analysis Template.

p.s: I'm currently testing different days for sending out this newsletter, which is why you're receiving it today instead of the usual Friday. Please don't hesitate to reply and share your preferred delivery day. Your feedback would mean a lot!